Death Wish

I wish to ensure that I have paid enough penance for sin of my daughter's life to satisfy all of those who have Dishonored me. I value Honor more than life itself, I've proven it all of my life in every situation, I only tell the truth. In the true spirit of Bushido, I offer my Katana to my accusers to stab me in the heart, I prefer to look into someone's eyes when I kill them, it should be a personal thing whenever possible. Sabrina and Bob Paulson have an open invitation to kill me like that anytime they want to. I am going to die with the highest degree of Honor in glory to God, I'm fine with it happening right now, they can decapitate me with the Sword if they prefer, but with that kind of betrayal its more fitting to be stabbed in the heart with twisting as far as my ribs will allow. It's more fitting to those who value religious symbolism as much as they do, it's better than letting the VA kill me slowly like Gary and the thousands of other Veterans.

I wear the Katana mostly out of symbolism, actually using one gets really messy, not to mention the legal consequences. I modified the sheath by attaching a spanking implement to it, that's for being true to my word on my cards. I'm a pretty serious Masochist, I have no problem taking the punishment for any sin that anyone feels that I did against them. I'm working on another modification on the sheath so that I can quickly take it off my belt and use the Sword while it is sheathed, it adds another option that is a lot less messy. The Handcuffs are also quite useful for BDSM play, if a woman wants me to wear them when she spanks me, they are useful for other things too.

(I have to add another picture here because the first picture in the post is displayed when shared to Facebook, the handcuff picture is inappropriate.)

I got used to wearing Male Chastity devices to placate my wife's fears about infidelity whenever I left the house, I still wear one sometimes, but not as often or for as long as I did when it was under her control.

These are the two styles I have now, I'm willing to wear them so that every woman can feel safe around me incase they don't trust me to take my spankings well. The Riding Crop in the picture is for whipping my testicles, I will want to take a few spankings from you before I trust you enough to do that, but you're welcome to spank my ass as hard as you can with it. Nobody has taken me anywhere near the level of pain that I could not endure it with pleasure. I have ejaculated in Chastity while my balls were being whipped by a Riding Crop. My vision of love is by it's nature, is more extreme than most other people, if my marriage has proven anything, it's that I can endure heartbreaking pain and come out of it laughing. The two very best parts of my life happened when I left Mary! Getting free of her delusions about me has been the best things that could have ever happened to me both times, the Lord delivered me from Evil, there's absolutely no question about it.

I take being a Gentleman quite seriously, no woman has need to worry that I will harm them in any way whatsoever, there's nothing but love and truth in my heart, I have always proven it to the greatest degree, getting this extreme about it just came naturally to me. The sad thing about it is that it's not enough to prove that I am Righteous enough to satisfy my many Accusers who caused me harm by doing all sorts of Evil against me. I encourage anyone who feels that I ever sinned against them in anyway to beat my ass or even kill me, but at least do it in person rather than through "the cosmic powers over this present darkness" especially if you are one of the spiritual forces of evil who would betray me to the Rulers and authorities to use the Demonic legal systems to destroy me. I'm quite sick of that shit, I'm free of Satan's power, but most of the other people in this world, sure as the hell they are going to, are not. Other people's Delusional thinking about me nearly destroyed me with the overwhelming Evil condemnation that it brings; nobody who has ever accused me of anything has anywhere near the same level of Honor that I do, period. That should be without question, but all the Evil Demons go to great depths to find any fault, anything they can use against me to drag me down to their level of Sin and calling it good when it's as Evil as they can get. It might be legal, but it sure as hell isn't righteous, I play by different rules than they do.

I think of 1 Samuel 24 often, one of the verses I have memorized and have really taken to heart, it applies to me almost perfectly, especially verses 8-20. This happened after the only Biblical account of someone taking a shit in a cave. I have the power of life and death in my hands, I don't really need a Sword to kill anyone in a merciful manner. I can assure you that if I do kill somebody else, it will be just as Righteous and justified as my Divorce.

Afterward David also arose and went out of the cave, and called after Saul, “My lord the king!” And when Saul looked behind him, David bowed with his face to the earth and paid homage. 9 And David said to Saul, “Why do you listen to the words of men who say, ‘Behold, David seeks your harm’? 10 Behold, this day your eyes have seen how the Lord gave you today into my hand in the cave. (J)And some told me to kill you, but I spared you.[c] I said, ‘I will not put out my hand against my lord, (K)for he is the Lord's anointed.’ 11 See, my father, see the corner of your robe in my hand. For by the fact that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, you may know and see that (L)there is no wrong or treason in my hands. I have not sinned against you, though (M)you hunt my life to take it. 12 (N)May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you. 13 As the proverb of the ancients says, ‘Out of the wicked comes wickedness.’ But my hand shall not be against you. 14 After whom has the king of Israel come out? After whom do you pursue? (O)After a dead dog! (P)After a flea! 15 (Q)May the Lord therefore be judge and give sentence between me and you, and see to it and (R)plead my cause and deliver me from your hand.”. (My Escape from PA)

16 As soon as David had finished speaking these words to Saul, Saul said, (S)“Is this your voice, my son David?” And Saul lifted up his voice and wept. 17 He said to David, “You are more righteous than I, (T)for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil. 18 And you have declared this day how you have dealt well with me, in that you did not kill me when the Lord put me into your hands. 19 For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him go away safe? So may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done to me this day.

I already have been rewarded greatly for the both times that I had to run for my life against Mary's Evil Delusions that she has everyone so convinced is true. I'm not totally free quite yet, I guess I never will be since I decided not to divorce her after all; it doesn't matter, I'm getting all the blame for everything anyway, that's just how things work in this Evil Feminist world. There's nothing I can do about it, no matter what I do or don't do, I'm going to face unjust condemnation for it, it isn't going to stop until I die. That's why I have this death wish, I have no reason whatsoever to fear death, I welcome it as long as it's as honorable as the life I was blessed with. This Earth is just a pit stop in the big picture, most normal people seem to keep forgetting that, they have no problem Sinning as long as they can blame it on somebody else. There's no need for me to take an Oath to tell the truth in Court, it's how I live my life anyway. I'm ready to get off this rock, I don't have to worry about having to deal with evil where I'm going next. That's why I have this Death wish.